I’ve really been enjoying thinking and writing on the prayer our Lord taught us. We are welcomed to the Great Transcendent God, whom we get to call Father, bowing to him as the Eternal King of heaven and earth, trusting in his provision for what we need physically and spiritually. Having given us simple words by which to ask God for mercy on us as sinners, Jesus points us to the part of the prayer that, if we’re honest, we don’t like very much, “and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
So far, it’s been about enjoying God’s amazing and abundant grace. While we have been awed and humbled, it’s been about acknowledging who God is and giving him what he deserves, which of course we know he will help us with. In many ways, all that’s been happening so far has been happening in our hearts and minds and affecting our private lives. But now comes the part we think the hardest: living with others in a manner that reflects God’s grace. This is the part that has the most visible expression as far as we are concerned. While a huge part of it is about the heart and mind, it is ultimately expressed in relationship with others, “as we also have forgiven our debtors”.
If you’re anything like me, you enjoy receiving grace much more than giving it. I love it when I am trusted and forgiven quickly. I love it when my apologies are accepted quickly and wrongs forgotten just as quick. But when I am wronged, I want all the time to wallow in the pain and hurt and dangle my disappointment over the one who has wronged me. I might not even receive apologies if and when they are given, telling myself that they are not really heartfelt. It takes me a long time to really forgive someone and not let their previous disappointment cloud our every interaction. I’m a lot like Jonah.
Jonah is one of my favorite Old Testament characters because I can relate to him. He’s a lot like me. Jonah is a guy who expects God’s mercy and grace for himself but hates it when its extended to others. In chapter 1 of his book, he blatantly sins by rejecting God’s call to go to Nineveh and even goes ahead to take a boat to a destination in the complete opposite direction! But when he’s in the belly of the fish, receiving God’s just judgement, he turns back to God, “I called out to the Lord, out of my distress, and he answered me; out of the belly of Sheol I cried, and you heard my voice . . . I went down to the land whose bars closed upon me forever; yet you brought up my life from the pit, O Lord my God . . . Salvation belongs to the LORD.” (2:2, 6, 9). He is repeatedly confident that he can access God’s mercy and know his salvation.
But it angers him that God should dare to show mercy to others he considers ‘beneath’ him – the Ninevites. From what I’ve read of the Old Testament, Jonah had the most successful run as a prophet – the people he was calling out, listened to him, turned to God, and God forgave their sins! You’d think he’d be happy. But no, “But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was angry. And he prayed to the Lord and said, “O Lord, is not this what I said when I was yet in my country? That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster. Therefore now, O Lord, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.”” (4:1-3). He gets angry that God would act in accordance with his character in forgiving repentant sinners. . . the very thing he can take for granted when he sins!
I can see so much of myself in Jonah. I want to take God’s grace for granted while denying others the same privilege! I want to somehow stand as guard over who God can and can’t show his mercy to. But it gets worse, when I’m the one sinned against, I don’t want to show any mercy. I quickly forget the grace I depend on from the LORD daily and don’t let it influence how I deal with those who sin against me. I am like the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18: 21-35.
I love how Peter helps set the context for this parable. He comes to Jesus, undoubtedly thinking himself very gracious, and asks, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” (18:21). Surely forgiving someone seven times is a lot right? Not according to Jesus, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” From the Greek, it can be translated as seven times seventy times! Whatever the amount, Jesus’ point is clear: forgive your brother until you lose count.
He then tells the parable explaining why we should forgive others as often as they sin against us: because we have also received mercy from God for all our sins against him, which are way bigger and weightier than our brother’s sin against us. It is the case with the servant that he owed, “ten thousand talents” when he received pardon from his debt, but he in turn refuses to forgive “one hundred denarii”. If the source I consulted is right[1], he gladly receives pardon for sixty million days wages, but refuses to forgive a hundred days wages! The proportions put into perspective the ridiculousness of our unforgiveness!
What we have graciously received from God we should gladly pay forward to others. If we choose not to, then we are proving that we should also not receive God’s forgiveness. “And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” (18:34-35). This is the catch we don’t like, that we are to be forgiven in the manner that we have forgiven others. I don’t like it because I know how bad I am at forgiving others, and I don’t want God to weigh up my forgiveness in the same measure.
We could try to explain this part away as much as we like, but Jesus is in effect saying that how we forgive has a direct correlation with how we are forgiven. Either we learn to forgive as we’ve been forgiven or be unforgiving and remain unforgiven! We can’t preach water and drink wine. Either grace works through and through or it doesn’t work at all; there is no middle ground! This feels painful for me because I’m a hypocrite at heart; I want special treatment without the requirement to share that special treatment with others. I don’t want to do unto others as has been done to me.
But I am coming to realize that this part of the prayer is also wrapped up in grace. This is not just because God has compassion and forgives my unpayable debt, but that God’s grace also works in me to be gracious with others. Left to my own devices, I cannot and will not forgive. But as I acknowledge God, who he is and what he’s done, then I learn about his grace and then his grace begins to change me. As he turns me from my sinful rebellion day by day, so he teaches me to forgive day by day. As I meditate on the wonder of what I receive from the Lord’s hand, then I learn to share that wonder with others, growing to operate with the grace that I daily enjoy.
So it does not all depend on me. This is not a point about my will power. “. . .as we also have forgiven our debtors” is not a result of works. It is a result of grace working daily in us, teaching us to give as good as we get, for the glory of God. It is as the gospel works in me, renewing my mind, that I can obey Paul’s command, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Eph. 4:32). This Paul follows up with, “Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.” (5:1). Only God’s grace can truly make us imitators of God!
“Lord, by your grace, turn me from my selfishness and pride and teach me to forgive as I have been forgiven.” Amen.
[1] https://www.grandrapidscoins.com/blogs/entry/how-much-was-a-biblical-talent-worth, a talent was worth 6,000 days wages (20 years, worth of wages).
